Robert Merritt
Robert and Maria Merritt.
In Honor and Memory of Robert Merritt
Do not look back, except to learn.
Do not look forward, except to grow.
Robert was a thoughtful person who often looked inward to answer life’s biggest questions. Trained in psychology and sociology, he got his Phd from NYU to work in prison reform, leading groups in organizational development and team building to improve re-integration outcomes.
In his writing, Robert used tools from his profession to get him through the frustrations of losing mobility over the course of his MS. He was immensely preoccupied with progress and enlightenment, often training his analytical mind towards reframing and finding hope in his own situation.
While he was mourning the loss of his native skills, Robert was fond of the phrase “learning is stunted by regret” –an exercise in humility in his ongoing quest to balance hope and pride in his illness.
Anchored by what he dubbed his “lifesavers”, Robert took comfort and inspiration from his wife, children, friends, mentors and faith. While he wasn’t religious, Robert had a lot of faith in humanity–the core of each person, including himself, to be and do good in the world, their love for one another and the march towards progress.
Sustaining him through his most difficult periods were a variety of community groups Robert used as a form of reciprocal evolution. He was very involved with his National MS Society support group, as well as a writing club where he made impactful and lasting friendships that brought him to the Universalist Unitarian church later in life. Robert was happiest when he was both teaching and learning from others.
Socially conscious, Robert deeply loved his country. He wanted to see it reach its full potential through proactive positive change.
Below is a poem that Robert wrote, provided by the leader of his writing group, Myrle Bowe.
These I believe . . .
There is value in living
each of us makes a contribution to the whole
sometimes it's difficult to see the big picture
I always have value to myself
not lessened if others miss this
If they do, it’s not my loss
I want to make a contribution to others,
whether it be my time or talent
I have learned a few things along the way that might help someone
Listen to others, you just might learn something
we all contribute to the mosaic of daily life
Someone must do the stapling, otherwise things fall apart.
Things don’t always work out
That hurts!
Learn from it, or the boat loses power
Not everyone will agree with you
They shouldn’t, that’s what makes a good bouillabaisse !
Special thanks to Robert’s devoted wife and caregiver Maria Merritt, as well as Myrle Bowe for sharing their memories with the National MS Brain Bank.
